Asking for help

Quote from something I read today:

“I generally don’t relate to the Powers in a transactional manner. These are relationships, to me. I give what I give out of love. I ask for what I ask out of need. We exchange in joy in the moment.”

Source and full post is here, but what I want to talk about today is a slightly different topic. I just wanted to share that quote because it’s something I’ve had trouble putting into words.

Occasionally I do wonder if I’m asking for too much, or if they’re “getting a fair deal” with what I offer in return, but I try not to worry about it too much. I figure if they want something they can poke me, otherwise I’ll just do the usual offerings, and that seems to be fine.

It helps to remember that, when I light a candle or offer some food or music, they’re not just getting the offering, but also my attention and friendship. I think that makes it worthwhile even if a candle in itself doesn’t seem like much. So, generally I don’t feel the need for transactions. These are relationships, to me. I give what I give out of love. I ask for what I ask out of need. We exchange in joy in the moment.

Another thing is, I try not to ask for help unless I really need it, because I don’t want to be dependent on anyone, deity or otherwise. Sometimes I want things to be easy, but life doesn’t work like that. I want to be able to rely on myself, so I always try to work things out by myself if I can. Then, if I do need help, I can ask for it without feeling like I ask too much, since I know it’s a genuine need and not just me being too lazy to do the hard work myself 😀

I don’t know, it’s a topic that I’ve been thinking about, since I have some problems right now, and I’ve been taking some time to think about what I can do on my own, and what I need help with. I think that thinking about this also helps me to know myself, and be more confident about my decisions, so it’s good stuff all around.

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3 thoughts on “Asking for help

  1. I have written on this topic a few times, for various reasons. Another you might want to read is this one: https://embervoices.wordpress.com/2014/06/14/be-unreasonable/

    It’s important for us to remember that we can express a need, a want, or even a whim, without necessarily making it a request. And sometimes it’s important that we be able to express it, just for the sake of expressing it.

    When I do ask for something, I tend to be more formal about it, and yes, I will usually offer to do something in return, but They as often as not admonish me that I’ve already done plenty, which is part of why it ends up not being transactional.

    It does depend on which Powers, of course. Freyr is less transactional than Freyja. Freyja is less transactional than Odin. Odin is less transactional than Exu. Etc.

    –Ember–

    • These are all good points, especially remembering that sometimes it’s important to express needs and wants just for the sake of expressing it. That’s something I’ve had to figure out how to navigate with humans too.

      As far as asking for help, I know I tend to be lazy when it comes to doing things that are hard–and not even exceptionally hard, just, it’s going to take more effort than I’m used to–so that’s something I have to watch for. It just means I need to think things over first, which is a good habit to get into anyway.

      Thanks for the link, that is a great post too.

  2. I think I’ve mentioned this before somewhere, but both Loki and Sigyn have told me in no uncertain terms that I should ask for help when I need it. (Sigyn even scolded me a little once about my not doing so, spelling: This tendency to want help for yourself when you need it any time Loki and I are around, but not ask for it, is not a good one, sweetheart.)

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