I’ve been noticing that every Lokean I know is doing something for Loki on a regular basis. Even if it’s just small offerings or writing about him. That made me panic, because what if he wants me to do stuff, and I can’t? Was this whole thing a big mistake? I mean, I like him a lot, but he seems to want his people to do stuff, and I don’t know if I can do anything.
I’m…not well, physically, so even cooking or going to the store is very hard for me. I can’t even write poetry worth a damn. All I can do is occasionally offer food, if I’m feeling up to it. My Kemetic deities seem to be fine with that. Maybe Loki is okay with it too, idk, but it does look like he likes people to be actively doing something. And I have no problem with the idea of doing stuff, I’m just worried that, what if he wants a thing I can’t do? I’m probably worrying over nothing, but now that I’ve started thinking about it, I can’t stop.
ETA: I’ve been thinking of getting some divination done, because with not having a god radio, I don’t even know if he’s even interested in me. So I was thinking of the possible answers; A, What I’m doing is enough. Cool. B, I should do more. This could be problematic; if he asks for something I can’t do, what then? I know technically you can say no, but I also know deities don’t give up so easily. Or C, Not interested at this time.
And the thought of C made me realise that I don’t want that to be the answer, even though it would stop B from being a worry. I don’t want Loki to not be in my life. I don’t even understand why I feel that way. Well, emotions are often irrational, that’s not news. I still don’t know where that leaves me.