Flail

I’ve been noticing that every Lokean I know is doing something for Loki on a regular basis. Even if it’s just small offerings or writing about him. That made me panic, because what if he wants me to do stuff, and I can’t? Was this whole thing a big mistake? I mean, I like him a lot, but he seems to want his people to do stuff, and I don’t know if I can do anything.

I’m…not well, physically, so even cooking or going to the store is very hard for me. I can’t even write poetry worth a damn. All I can do is occasionally offer food, if I’m feeling up to it. My Kemetic deities seem to be fine with that. Maybe Loki is okay with it too, idk, but it does look like he likes people to be actively doing something. And I have no problem with the idea of doing stuff, I’m just worried that, what if he wants a thing I can’t do? I’m probably worrying over nothing, but now that I’ve started thinking about it, I can’t stop.

ETA: I’ve been thinking of getting some divination done, because with not having a god radio, I don’t even know if he’s even interested in me. So I was thinking of the possible answers; A, What I’m doing is enough. Cool. B, I should do more. This could be problematic; if he asks for something I can’t do, what then? I know technically you can say no, but I also know deities don’t give up so easily. Or C, Not interested at this time.

And the thought of C made me realise that I don’t want that to be the answer, even though it would stop B from being a worry. I don’t want Loki to not be in my life. I don’t even understand why I feel that way. Well, emotions are often irrational, that’s not news. I still don’t know where that leaves me.

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13 thoughts on “Flail

  1. He really loves music; if nothing else you can sing for him (personally I usually just sing along with whatever I’m listening to, but sometimes I’ll just get the urge to randomly sing while I’m doing the dishes or something. I think he nudges me during those times :p ) Or play songs off, say, iTunes or Spotify or something like that for him (don’t use headphones, though, he can’t hear it if you do. At least that’s what he’s told/indicated to me). IDK if you’ve seen it already but I have my own Loki playlist on Spotify, so if you’re not sure what to play for him (or if you want some suggestions) you can play/look through that. Loki himself has requested several songs to be added to it (everything from and including Iron And Wine’s “On Your Wings” was chosen by him). He especially really loves The Young Dubliners’ “Touch The Sky” and The Youngbloods’ “Get Together”, as well as “Love Don’t Roam” by Neil Hannon (from the Doctor Who soundtrack)–he requests to hear all three of those A LOT.

    (also oh gods i hope the hyperlink–do people still say hyperlink? HELLO I STARTED USING INTERNET IN THE ’90S CAN YOU TELL~ –HTML worked. If not the link is http://open.spotify.com/user/1250639032/playlist/4haPvbS9BNHhDmh2e4xtsF )

    • The hyperlink worked 🙂

      I keep forgetting about music! I’m not very good at singing but I enjoy doing it anyway 😛 and I can definitely play music on the computer. Thanks!

  2. I feel you. When I see how much some people do for Loki, with writing stories and poems, and cooking and baking and giving offerings every day, I feel overwhelmed.
    I have decided to keep it small. On Saturdays I light a candle for Loki and hail Him, and tell Him He is welcome in my home and in my heart. Sometimes I also light incense for Him. Then I pour Him a shot of whisky as an offering. Sometimes I also offer sweets in a bowl.
    But the candle, the greeting and the shot of whisky is what I usually do.
    If you can’t get alcohol of any kind, you could also make Him a strong cup of coffee with cream and lots of sugar.

    • Thanks 🙂 I just recently got some candles, so I could do that.

      I’ve seen a couple people mention Saturday. Is that a Lokean thing, or did people just happen to pick that day?

      • Saturday is the only day in Scandinavia not named after a deity. It was called “laugardag”, i.e. washing day. So I thought Loki should have that day, and apparently many other Lokeans have had the same idea.

  3. I’ve been worrying about that as well. As far as I know, he’s okay with me doing irregular devotions, because he knows mundane life often gets in the way of spiritual matters.
    If you feel like you need more regularity, I would suggest making a schedule will everything you’d like to do during a week or a month? Doesn’t work all the time, though (I tried doing it and miserably failed). Listening to music for him at random times is, as mysticalchicken suggested, a nice offering, and it’s doesn’t require any kind of organization. Dedicating bites of your daily meals to him could be nice, too. I’ve seen several people doing it : they usually take a bite of their food and tell Loki it is for him.
    These are pretty simple ways to do regular offerings, but I’m sure there are more.

    • I will try a schedule, but life is unpredictable so I’m not going to get too attached to it. I shared a simple lunch of bread and cream cheese today, and that was nice.

  4. I wouldn’t worry too much. Loki knows what you’re capable of and what you’re not capable of, and I’m sure He doesn’t expect anything from you that would be impossible for you to do. On the other hand, if He indicates that He wants something from you that you don’t think you can give, keep in mind that you might actually be able to give it to Him; perhaps you just don’t think you can, and it’s a matter of “being your own worst enemy” kind of thing. But I wouldn’t let this haunt you too much, nor would I lose any sleep over it. Just do right by Loki as best you can and trust Him to do right by you.

  5. Everything I’ve read indicates that Loki tends to be pretty easy-going, and very understanding of people who have energy or other resource limitations (financial limits, family who are opposed to paganism, etc.), so if you do not feel like He’s asking for more, you’re probably doing just fine. I know people who have lots of limits on what they can offer physically, and they’ve had steady relationships with Him for years.

    And if He DOES push for something, and it’s difficult for you, it’s often okay to push back, or explain what the problem is and try to negotiate something else – I’ve noticed a tendency for Him to push people to teach them to push back at times. I see a lot of people worry about doing physical offerings – poetry or food or things like that – but the thing I try to keep in mind is that this is all about building/maintaining a relationship, so communication (call it prayer if you like) is probably the most important thing. Spending a few minutes just talking to Him about . . . whatever you feel up to, to show that you are interested in keeping things going, seems to me like it’s more likely to be meaningful than lighting a candle or putting something on an altar because you feel /obligated/ to, or like that’s “how you’re supposed to do religion.” If doing those kinds of devotional acts feels good, if that’s an offering you want to make, then by all means do it, but if your religious practice feels like a drag, like it’s just a constant chore or it’s too draining, that’s not a good mental place to be in. When I started out, I’d talk to Him about anything that was on my mind (I still do), and that was all fine and good, so don’t worry you’re going to be boring or anything like that. I do stuff for Him on a daily basis (like light candles, do food offerings), but when I asked recently if there was something more/different He wanted, the only request He made was that I talk to Him more. And I do most of the other things because /I/ want to, not because He insisted I do it. (I believe He appreciates it, too, but it’s something that’s evolved over time and suits us both.)

    You’re in the pretty early stages of building a relationship with Loki, right? Really, really don’t stress about it: deities know that when we’re in the early stages with Them, it takes time to figure out what is going to work out, especially because knowing what They want can be tricky to figure out – and They know we have limits on understanding Them.

    • Funny, I was just reading your blog when the comment light came on 🙂

      Yes, very early stages. I haven’t been doing much talking lately, and I think that’s adding to the “I’m not doing anything” feeling more than anything else. I just can’t think of anything to talk about right now, except things that I’ve already talked about a bunch of times and don’t want to keep rehashing over and over. Not just because I’ve already said it, but I also get tired of it myself.

      Everyone’s been so nice with comments and advice. I’m feeling a lot better about stuff. I wish I had more to talk about, but I’m not really worried now.

      • I know what you mean about getting tired of talking about the same thing >.< I hate repeating myself, too, and very often, I feel like, “My life is just ticking along like normal, nothing interesting here,” and all the little variations (“today we had a /really/ messed up document at work”) just don’t feel . . . worth discussing. They aren’t very interesting, either. I usually do it anyway, ‘cause He wants me to talk to Him, and “not very interesting” is what I’ve got, a lot of the time. I’ve found that usually, once I get over the initial feelings of “I got nothin’” that I’ll end up thinking about something more serious on my mind – and even if that is also one of the “same old things,” well, that’s what I’ve got, soooo. (The drawback to that is that sometimes I quickly find myself talking about something more serious than I really want to get into, and I get tired of working over Serious Issues, too.)

        For a bit over a year, I was (at His request) writing to Him every day, and I ran into the same kind of “but life is boring today” problems, but my mental process works differently if I am writing vs. talking – thoughts just come differently, and I express them differently (I get a LOT more “stream of conscious,” so it got less boring really fast, once I passed my initial “today was a day like any other” thoughts – so that approach might be interesting to try, too, if it appeals to you at all.

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